Monday, December 31, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 12 Death to...in 2013

As we are about to ring in the new year, it's time we evaluate 2012 and let some things just die! These things I'm about to list....please people let's leave it in 2012 and pretend it never happened mmmkay?!? Here we go....

Death to....

1. Skinny jeans for men: does those not hurt your man jewels? I mean come on now. Stop this...it's not cute and then you have the audacity to sag them....*face palm*

2. Improper usage of Leggings: I love leggings like the next one but you don't cover that camel toe up or the dimples in your buttock and thigh region....look there is NOT ONE COUNTRY for this mess. Get your size, not the size you think you are. MmmKay!

3. Reality TV: I really blame Flava Flav for the destruction of all things holy in TV. He not only set black folk back 500 years but the world itself. Every reality show thereafter has been nothing but tomfoolery and coonery. And this new Shawty Lo show with the 10 baby mommas and 11 children....y'all NO! STOP THIS FOOLERY! We have to demand better quality TV. *takes deep breath*

4. Improper grammar: some folks just ignore the red squiggly lines I CLAIRE! Yes I make up my own words because I can but some of y'all really don't no any better at all. The too, to, and two struggle is real as well as the their and they're and it's and its. Piece and peace have two different meanings ya know. Lawd be an English teacher in 2013!

5. Racism: This years election showed me that not is some Americans extremely racist but also dumb as pebbles. You wouldn't believe the side eyes and the comments I received regarding this election when President Obama was clearly the best candidate for the job. And no it wasn't because he was black. Let me whisper something in your ear real quick....black folks don't just vote for folks because they are black. If that was the case, Jesse Jackson would've become president in the 80s and we all know that would not have been a good look. Contrary to some belief, we do listen to politics. Mmmkay! To this day I do not understand racism and probably never will. How could you not like someone because of skin tone or ethnicity. It's ludacris! *in my Mike Tyson voice* We are all God's children and heaven isn't segregated so you better learn to get alone mmmkay!

6. Obesity: And I'm talking to myself and my fellow Mississippians. It is time out that we are the most obese state in the union. We have gots to do better! As a health care professional I see it all and 75% of the illnesses that I see are preventable with proper diet and exercise. I must admit that I have also allowed my weight and my love for eating to take the best of me but I'm committed to getting back on track and staying there. And my beautiful black women....stop making excuses for not working out because you don't want to lose your "thickness." You can be thick and dead if you wanna! They are ways to work out to shape your body they way you want to and still remain curvy and "thick."

7. Baby momma/daddy drama: Come closer, let me whisper in your ears....YOU ARE NOT HURTING THE PARENT YOU ARE HURTING THE CHILDREN SO STOP IT! It takes 2 parents! It takes a man to teach a man to be a man and it takes a woman to teach a woman to be a woman. If you have issues with that then you should have thought about that before you laid with that person. Be careful who you chose to parent your children because that is forever sirs and ma'ams! #thatisall

8. Flooding pants: There is no reason in the year of our sweet Lord that ANYONE should be flooding. There is always a sale at JCP, WalMart, etc. Let's do better people.

9. The drag queen look: Sigh...if you are going to arch your eyebrows, please do them properly. Some of y'all look like clowns and I just can't take it anymore. I'm not a fan of make up but I know that it can be done classy, decent and in order! Your arch should no look like the McDonald's arch MmmKay!

10. Thirst: This word has to die today! It is used way to much people. Yes there are thirsty people out there but it is taken in the wrong context daily. Just because someone compliments you doesn't mean that they are thirsty. It's just a complement and be thankful that someone is complementing some of your raggedy looking behinds. STOP IT! That's why chivalry is dead because your confusion of thirst is killing it!

11. Ignorance: I always say ignorance can be fixed. Stupidity is forever! There are too many ways for you to find out information in the year of our sweet Lord. There is no reason for the grammar struggle or the misquoting of information. NONE AT ALL! Stop being lazy and use the Googles....PLEASE and THANK YOU!

12. Struggle plates: Y'all for real for real! These struggle plates have got to cease. I should not look at a picture and have decipher what is on your plate. I have seen the misuse of cheese on a waffle, frosting on bread with sprinkles and had the gall to call it a homemade pop tart, I have seen slop, and the list never ends unfortunately. If YOU can't even tell what's on your plate please don't post on Instagram because you will be copy, pasted, and roasted mmmkay?!?

13. Talentless musicians: I've spoken on this before so govern yourselves accordingly. I really want to be able to listen to the radio again....I really do!

14. Swag: Just let this word die already! #thatisall

That is all I have for now. I'm quite sure there is more but making this list just made my head hurt and I need to workout to relieve some pressure from it all. Please comment if you have things that you would like to see die in 2012. People I really don't want to see this list in 2013...I really really don't mmkay!

I hope everyone enjoys their New Year's Eve festivities! Be safe and no drunk driving! -_- May the Lord bless you until I blog again!!!! Until tomorrow....Happy and Blessed New Year!


Love,

Doc J

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 13 What About Your Friends

One of my favorite TLC songs was "what about your friends." I must say I have some of the best friends ever. Friends that will rough you up and will jump ignant...yes ignant if you cross me wrong and I would do the same for them. Lol. I have had the same friends since like almost pampers. The other clan of my friends I met in college. I believe that friendships...let me rephrase...healthy friendships are important and vital to life. Friends are there when family is absent. They cry with you, laugh with you and even put you in your place and hug you while doing so. They listen to you complain and sometimes willing to sit in jail with you lol. I don't have that much criteria for a friendship but you must be loyal, honest, cool, laid back and we not have the same taste in men. That last one is SUPER DUPER important. I have seen men destroy friendships so to nip that in the bud, you think my man is ugly...GREAT! We can be friends lol. I must say that I have been blessed with some of the greatest friends that any gal could ask for. I mean really....they have been by my side through thick and then and no argument could ever tear us apart. That is true friendship. But can I vent for a minute ya'll. There are friendships of mine that ended. One tragically and one not so tragic. Was actually relieved by that one. Let me tell you about it... *lays on therapy couch and takes a deep breath*

As I've told you guys before, that I tend to look at the best and people and sometimes overlook the worst unless it's just so loud you can't ignore it. Well this particular friend it was loud and clear and I refused to acknowledge it until it bit me in the behind. We had been friends off and on since the 3rd grade. She was sweet and had a good heart but was EXTREMELY opinionated. Many things were questioned with why you do this or why you wanna do that. But I never saw it as harm but my other friends did. I always had to defend this friend as well. Questions like "how do you put up with her" or "why are you 2 friends again?" It was really difficult but I loved her like a sister. So she has a baby, and I'm there for her throughout the pregnancy although she was the biggest....yeah....ever! Lol. I accredited it to the hormones and stayed by her side. I helped her out with buying things for the baby, etc. So fast forward some years. I remember getting upset with her because she didn't call me for my birthday. Yeah, it may seem petty but let me tell you why. She was the type that if you didn't call or show up at events, you would never hear the end of it. You try to tell her that its not big deal but yeah...the same fussing. So I stepped into the little childish side and didn't talk to her for about 6 months. I finally spoke with her and told her why I had been ignoring her. We kissed and made up and things were back to normal. So I had moved away for about and year and was returning home. I was a mentor for a summer program at JSU and was offered room, board, and a stipend. She offers that I stay with her during the summer. I first decline because I feared what could happen and in the end destroy our friendship. Sidebar: NEVER LIVE WITH YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO FRIENDSHIP TO SURVIVE. She insisted so I obliged. And boy do I regret it. Things were cool and I was rearely there but there was something in my gut that was throwing all kinds of red flags. I couldn't put my finger on it. So after about 3 months I moved out and got an apartment. I decided to have a get together at my apartment to relieve some of the stress from finals and preparing for my oral defense. My roommate and I invite her and boy did she show up. We were playing phase 10 and she sits at the table. She exclaims that she wants to play spades. Well we are playing phase 10 right now so calm down. She then throws my cards and says again I want to play spades. I step away for a while because I'm hot! One of my guests had to tell her to calm herself and it wasn't cool that she was disrespecting our home like that. So she apologizes and then goes into a rant about how I stayed with her rent free and blah blah blah. *face palm* I knew that this was going to happen which is why I didn't want to live with her. I had to remind her that I didn't ask to stay with her and that I had a place to stay but YOU insisted that I stay with you. I regret that decision to this day but I'm glad it opened my eyes to some things. After that little spill, I was officially done with her and that friendship. We spoke some time after that about that night but I really didn't have much else to say or do with her. So that friendship ended and sadly I was a bit relieved.

Now to the friendship that hurt me to the core, still hurt a little til this day. This friend and I became friends around my senior year in high school. Before then I used to slick hate on her because she had the cutest dresses. But anyway, we became the best of friends. We were always at each others houses and forever laid upon each others boosum lol. We laughed together and we cried together. We were insepearable. I don't think we ever had an argument that I can remember. I knew that she wasn't to fond of my then boyfriend but I wasn't fond of hers either but we just supported one another. We went in on each other about one anothers significant other but like I said we supported each others choice and kept moving. One day I receive a text from her boyfriend saying that he had a dream about me. I inquired as to what it was about and let's just say it was beyond rated X. So to see how far he was going to go, I asked more questions like what about my bestfriend, where is all of this coming from. He goes to tell me that we could be great together and that she didn't have to know, blah blah, lie lie, trife trife. So now I'm faced with a difficult decision. To tell her or not to tell her. *wall slides* I get advice from my cousin who advised me not to say anything if I wanted to keep our friendship. I tell my then significant other about what happened and he demanded that I tell her. Sigh. My heart was racing because I knew that this was about to end our friendship. I was hoping that it wasn't but I had a bad feeling that it was. Maybe my approach to the situation was wrong but my heart was in the right place. So I tell her. She's upset but thanks me for telling her. Whooo...sigh of relief! So I call her the next day and she tells me about their confrontation. He tells her some of the most unbelievable lies known to man and guess what y'all....yep...she believes him. *face palm* I was upset but I figured it was going to happen. Love will make you do some stupid things and make you believe even worse. But what happened a few days later is what tipped me over the edge. I receive a phone call from her and I could tell by the tone in her voice that this conversation wasn't going to go well at all. She questions me about the events again and I stand my ground on what I told her before. She asks me why I didn't want to tell her and I explained who wants to tell anyone what their significant other was doing plus for fear that you wouldn't believe me and do what you are doing now. THEN she says that she felt like I wanted her man. O_O I asks where did this come from. And she says because I complemented him on his feet. O_O Out of all things on a man to complement the only thing I can complement you on is your feet....you must be really challenged in the face for me to complement you on your feet. LAWD. I laugh hysterically because I'm like you are my best friend, you know me, you know my taste in men, you know me and that I don't break up happy or unhappy homes...YOU KNOW ME! Lol. I again ask her is she serious and she was dead serious....sigh. So I basically had to lay down why I would never ever in a cold day in the lowest place ever want to be with her man and politely told her I'd talk to her later because I had a Ph.D. to get. *files nails* I had to basically say how he wasn't worth a quarter and why would I want that when I was a diamond! *paints nails and blows* Any who....needless to say our friendship ended on that day and was never rekindled. We conversed off and on after that but yeah. That hurt me to the core. I loved this girl like a sister. I was there when her son was born. I stayed with her when she was released from the hospital and got up with the baby so she could rest. I bought him clothes and did what friends do...help each other. So to allow this no good bleep words come between us was the hardest blow ever. I cried for months over that. But it made me stronger. What did I learn from this...never tell your friend that her man is cheating on her unless you are ready for the consequences. Sad yet true. Me...I wanna know but I've come to realize that everyone don't want to know. They would rather live in a lie. *shrugs*

My take home message for the day.....
Value the friendships that you have. Good friends and I mean GOOD LOYAL friends are hard to come by. I love and cherish the friendships that I have and tell them as often as possible how much I love them and appreciate them. Even though I've lost some friends in the process...I'm blessed to have the friends that are still around. So until tomorrow...cherish your fiends. Pray for them and love them.

Love you all!

Doc J

*tomorrow I will be talking about what I want to die in 2012*

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 16 Procrastination

Hello, My name is Doc J and I'm a procrastinator. *room waves and says "Hi Doc J"* I have made procrastination into an art form. Literally. I am the HNIC and CEO of procrastination. I wait until the last minute for everything and I do mean E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!! As the old folks would say, I will probably be late for my own funeral...smh. Why am I such a chronic procrastinator you ask. I work better under pressure. Says all procrastinators all over the world. MY procrastination is a bit chronic though. I procrastinate when it comes to getting ready for work, church, outings, writing a paper, writing my blog, you name it, I'm procrastinating. It is definitely a flaw that I must work on in the upcoming new year. I've progressed in some areas of my life when it comes to procrastination but I still have a long ways to go. Part of it is just plain laziness. It's ok to have your lazy days but an idle mind is the devils playground. I have no reason as to why I procrastinate and sometimes I get upset at the work I've done because of procrastination. I've written many things and thought, "man if I'd actually started on the assignment when it was assigned to me I could have done a much more amazing job!" -_- The story of my life I tell ya. Why am I writing on this subject you ask? Because, I think it's time that I call out my flaws and face them head on. I have a tendency to make excuses for my mediocrity and that is no longer an option. No one achieves greatness by being mediocre and I know that I'm destined for greatness. All I have to really do is look at my life over the past year alone. God has taken me out of unstable situations and placed me on solid ground. It's time for me to look at the man in the mirror and make that change. *in my soft Michael Jackson voice* The great thing is that procrastination is easy to fix. Just stop doing it. Get up when the alarm clock goes off. Stick to my schedule. Plan ahead so that I can make it to my destination on time. Baby steps....baby steps....

My take home message for the day....
It's really time for me to look at myself and analyze what's holding me back from greatness. Often our biggest obstacle is not other people but ourselves. OUCH. It's time out for the excuses and mediocrity. It's time for me to focus. Make some moves. Overcome adversities  fears, and insecurities. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God made me to be the head and not the tail and it's time for me to walk into my destiny.

Until tomorrow loves....letting go of my dead weight friend procrastination....


Doc J

*leaving you with my theme songs, listen to the words*





Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 17 I Should Have....

Hey gang! I hope everyone had a blessed holidays. I know I did. I ate waaaayyyy too much! Thank you Lord for all the delicious food! Amen! Lol. Any who....have you ever looked over your life and said I should have done this or I wish I'd done that? As of late, this has been me on a daily basis. The major thing being I should have gone to medical school. Oh how I beat myself up about this. Many say "you're still young, go for it"and I very politely say.."I ain't got time for that!" Lol. But for real, I really feel I'm too old to go back to school and to be honest I'm all schooled out right now. I've been in school since I was 4 years old. 2012 is the first year I've gone without being in school since pre-K. It's past due time for me to take a break. But sometimes I do regret not at least taking the MCAT but meh. Back in the TV, when watching TV was enjoyable and entertaining and wholesome, there was this show on TLC called Operation. I used to watch it faithfully. I knew that was going to be me one day. One day, I watched an episode and every incision that the doctor made I could feel. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I was squirming and began to be grossed out. I didn't know why it was happening, it had never happened before. So I took it as a sign that being a medical doctor wasn't for me.  I made so many excuses as to why I didn't want to go to Med School. I have a laundry list of should haves, could haves, and would haves. I have to remember that things work according to God's plan. I always felt like if it was it was His will for me to go to Med School it would've happened.

But let me tell you what I really like....THE LAB. Yes I am a lab rat. The rush of research....whoo chile! Exhilarating  Call me what you want but I know that the lab is where I belong. Although I'm no longer in research I'm still in a clinical lab. If I had know that I would have ended in this career path I would've gotten my PhD in my current field. To analyze patient samples is gratifying...but what really gives me a rush is the Blood Bank. Emergency crossmatches, finding compatible units, determining patient antibodies.....talking about an adrenaline rush! *fist pump* I can't wait until I can become a full time blood banker. *stares off into moonlight* I know, I know, you're like blood....ewwwww but I'm telling you...the thought of your work saving someones life is awesome. The hardest part of my job is when a patient dies. If I'm attached just by a sample imagine how I would be on patient contact. I really have a genuine care, love and concern for people no matter how good or evil that person may be. Sometimes a gift and a curse.

My take home message for the day.....
We can't live our lives in should have, could have, would have. Life goes on. If I continue to harp on the fact that I didn't go to medical school, I would miss out on the many blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I have a great job in which I'm able to help people in the background. I'm thankful for what God has done in my life. My advice to someone who may be in college attempting figure out what they should do. First, pray. Second, be obedient to God's commandments. Third, listen. God plants things in our hearts all the time, but often times we don't hear it because we're talking to much. Fourth, research how to get to your goal. Fifth, plan. Set goals and plan, plan, plan. And Finally, Execute. Don't let anyone or anything keep you away from your dreams. Be yourself. Have no fear for God is with you. God does not give us the spirit of fear but of power and a sound mind. Even if you fail, pick yourself up and try again. Be careful of who you express your dreams to as well. Everyone doesn't want see you succeed. Reach for the stars but make sure you're in God's will. And watch God work!

Until tomorrow....follow your dreams and pray over them. Pay it forward and never give up!

Love you guys and thank you so much for your kind works of support and encouragement! I'm truly humbled!

Doc J

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 20 Who is Doc J

Yesterday I blogged about being me but who am I? Who is this Doc I person that you are following? Welp....let me introduce myself..*clears throat and taps Mic*

I'm a Christian.
I'm more than a conqueror.
I'm saved.
I am a graduate of Clinton High.
I am a graduate of Jackson State University x3.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
I love to eat.
I'm a chemist.
I'm a medical laboratory scientist.
I'm in love.
I'm loved.
I don't have any sense.
I'm ratchet.
I'm serious.
I'm goofy.
I'm friendly.
I leans wit it.
I rocks wit it.
I pretty girl rocks wit it.
I have many frequent flyer miles.
I love to travel.
I love music.
I throws the pinkie and have a mean SkeeWee!
I Moonwalks, spins, and land on toes. *Hee Hee*
I pelvic thrusts.
I'm a helper.
I body rolls.
I'm crunk.
I teach.
I fist pump.
I face palm.
I hollered.
I'm a friend.
I'm a sister, daughter, cousin, and tee tee.
I cry but I'm no punk.
I'm a fighter.
I ain't a killer but don't push me.
I laugh.
I kid.
I am.
AND.....that's how you let the beat build! *Rick Ross grunts drops Mic and Diddy bops stage left*


Until tomorrow....

Doc J

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 21 Naturally Me

Hey gang! Next month I will be celebrating not only my birthday but also my 3rd year since my big chop. Many have asked about my natural hair journey so here's my story. I remember when I made the choice to go back to my natural hair. I had been natural from birth till freshman year of college. I got grown and decided that I needed a relaxer. The truth of the matter is that I didn't know how to do my hair without a hot comb and Lord knows I wasn't about that life. I remember my first taste of the creamy crack. Oh it was delicious. Although my hair never really "relaxed" my baby hairs never laid so smooth. Doing my hair was a breeze then but it was short lived. The brand of my first relaxer started not working so well after about a year. I only got a relaxer every 3 to 6 months. I constantly found myself switching relaxers. Fast forward to January 2010. I was doing my hair and noticed that it was thinning. I looked on the floor and half of my hair was on the floor! Ok maybe not half but it was a lot to be alarmed about. So the chemist in me went and grabbed my relaxer bottle and looked at the ingredients. *wall slides* I couldn't believe I was putting that mess in my hair. Straight hair wasn't worth the chemical burns I was obtaining each relaxing. It was at that moment I chose to go back to natural. So to cut it all off or to transition...that is the question! So I began to look up hair charities that I could donate my hair. It had to be at least 12 in in length to donate. So that was the deciding factor. If my hair was long enough I was going to chop it off and donate it. Well the verdict was....
Yep, I cut it all off and donated it. I had so many supporters but I had backlash as well. Why some folks just don't want you to be great! The "how you cut all that pretty hair" and the "nooooooooooo" and my favorite "you were your hair" as if my hair had all of my personality, beauty,  and greatness in it. Sigh. Enneweighs...lol So here I am with this:

At that time, this was a very difficult stage for me. The self consciences issues began to arise. I didn't know what to do with my hair. But then I began to hear the words of my father and grandfather. "You are beautiful! You don't need makeup or a relaxer to be beautiful! You are beautiful just the way you are! God didn't make any mistakes when he made you!" * quadruple blush* I love the men folk in my family. They always make us women folk feel special. Looking back, I wish I had embraced my short hair more and not wear those headbands all the time. I really miss my TWA (teenie weenie afro). Sometimes I contemplate cutting it off again just so I can embrace my TWA but I fear for my life I do such lol. Cutting my hair was the most liberating thing I've ever done in my life. It freed me on so many different levels. Then anger set in because if I'd known it was so easy to care for natural hair, I wouldn't have gotten a relaxer in the first place! *waves fist* And also to be free from that wretched hot comb....whooo chile! Thank you Jesus! *does praise dance*

Another thing about me is that I DESPISE make up and I blame my dad for that lol. That speech I typed earlier is the speech that my dad gave me on an almost daily basis. Or he'll slide his "you're too beautiful for makeup" comment in and of course I believed him. He's my dad...he be knowing lol. So I've gone through almost 30 years of life with no clue of what foundation or a bronzer is and how to use it. I've worn makeup once in my life and that was a year ago for my best friend's wedding. And I was fighting her on that lol. But it came out nice..see:

But I felt like the witch on the wizard of Oz..."I'm melting...melting" lol. I felt so uncomfortable. But I made it through. But I learned a lesson that day. There's nothing wrong with enhancers as long as you don't go overboard and you are comfortable with who YOU are and comfortable in your own skin. To me being natural is not about not relaxing your hair or using the best juices and berries that nature has to offer. It's about being true to yourself. Being the person that God called you to be. Outward appearances fade but inner beauty....shines forever. I've seen some take the "natural hair revolution" to levels of just foolery. To me that means you are not comfortable with who you are and are just following the trend. Just be you. If the creamy crack is for you....do it! If you like to be unbeweavable....girl pat that weave. Just be yourself. I'm just me and can be no one else but me. I love being me and I love me! I love being natural....I'm...Naturally Me!

My take home message for the day....
Be you! That's it! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God made you in His image so embrace your beauty. Don't allow others to dictate what beauty means for you. My natural may not be your natural but be Naturally YOU! Love you! Embrace you! And again BE YOU! 

Until tomorrow....Enjoy being natural! *adjusts curly puff*

Doc J

*Hear are a few other pics from my journey*



Friday, December 21, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 22 Love/Hate Christmas

Hey Gang! Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. I love the music, the decorations, the coolness in the air although we haven't had a winter in MS for I don't know how long but I digress. I love the cheer that it brings to people and how this special holiday brings families together. The Christmas specials on TV have me jumping with glee. Christmas is a celebration of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ's birth. Sadly, we and I do mean WE have taken Christ out of Christmas. We have become consumed with the commercialism of the holiday. Many go into debt trying to buy that Wii U or Xbox 360 for their child or even die trying to purchase a gift. It's like people become animals for that day after thanksgiving sale. Somewhere, we have lost the true meaning of Christmas which is to celebrate the greatest gift that God ever gave the world, His son.

My love/hate relationship with the holidays is also that we only take this time of year to do something "nice" for people. There are people in need everyday, not just Christmas. This time of the year is the only time that some people even bother to volunteer to visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc. But as Christians, we are called to do this year round. I can't point my finger at anyone because I myself have fallen victim to this as well. We as Christians have to become better in  being about our Father's business. Do you think God really cares about the holiday parties, the expensive gifts, the selfishness? I don't think He's pleased at all that we've alienated one time of year to be "nice" and be of good cheer. Giving gifts isn't a problem but the motive behind the sometimes is. Are you giving to get or giving out of pure love? I think it's time for us as Christians and a society to really dig deep about are motives and intentions during the holiday season. Again, I love the holiday and what it stands for but I hate the free for all spirit that it's becoming.

So what now? How do we change things? I can't really answer that but can face the woman in the mirror and make a commitment to show love, care, and cheer 365 days a year. I can commit to truly being about my Father's business not just during the holidays but every day of the year. I believe that's a personal commitment that every Christian has to make for itself. I attempt to help others throughout the year with I guess more done during the holidays. It's time for me to develop and implement a plan to help the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked throughout the year and not just during the holidays. I'm not saying not do anything for anyone during the holidays but to spread that good fortune throughout the year.

My take home message....
Give love not just on Christmas but everyday of the year. Remember why we celebrate Christmas and the awesome wonder of our Savior's birth. Reflect on that gift for a while and see if that doesn't change your perspective and how you operate the other 364 days of the year. If you're going to give, give without the expectation of receiving. That is where your true blessings lay. Let go of selfishness and take on selflessness. Give to someone who you know are in need. Adopt a family not just for the holidays but for the entire year. Thank you Lord for sending your son to save a cruel world and poor wretch like me. Thank you Lord for loving me so much. I pray that everyone has a Merry Christmas. Until tomorrow.....

Love Always

Doc J

*Here are a few of my FAV Christmas tunes*





Okay, okay, I'll stop here...there are just too many to chose from lol! Merry Christmas Everyone!!!


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 23 Unfulfilled

Well today I'm going to be a little vulnerable with my feelings and thoughts. For a few months now I've had this overwhelming feeling of unfulfillment. I haven't quite pinpointed the area of my life that is unfulfilled but I do have a few clues. I hate that I feel this way because I am blessed beyond measure. If God didn't do anything else for me I should be content because He's done so much. I guess it's just human nature to want fulfillment. So let's dive in shall we....* inhales deeply and slowly blows out*

Biological clock......
Boy that ticking time bomb is a mess isn't it. Lol. It's almost like others can hear it tic tocking as well because the questions begin. What irritates me is when people are shocked that I'm almost 30 without kids like I'm some type of animal exhibit. Please stop worrying what's going on in my lady parts and let me live and be great! Or my all time favorite question, " well what are you waiting fuh?" Ummm maybe a suitable husband and father. I'm not trying to be any man's baby momma. I've seen too many of my friends and even my sister have to deal with baby daddy drama and I. AIN'T. BOUT. THAT. LIFE! I thank God for protecting my ovaries during my short marriage because to have to deal with that foolishness for LIFE?!?! THANK YOU JESUS!!! Anywho, by now I thought I would've been married and just about done having children. I'm thankful that my family doesn't give me the" you're not getting any younger" speech. I guess too because they have 3 grandchildren with one on the way, there isn't much pressure on me. But can I be open a minute.... like I really can't wait to start a family. I think giving birth is one of God's greatest gifts. I can't wait to have mini me's * the Griffin/Williams genes are strong baby lol* I can also admit that I am a bit envious of my friends that have kids but I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be a Tee Tee and God Mother to so many wonder kids.

Career.....
I love my job! I would do my job for free if I had to but thank you Lord for the pay lo. A part of me, however,  feels a little emptiness. How and why you ask? Well...for one I'm not really working in the field that I got a PhD in. Let's rewind a little here. I obtained a PhD in Chemistry in 2009. I'm not sure how I ended up in Chemistry and what my exact goals were but I did it. This mere fact is why I'm in the predicament that I'm in. I didn't really plan for my future. I kind of just went with wind. If the door opened, I walked right through it. What sucks is that for my current career I didn't have to get a PhD or I could have gotten a PhD in my field and this unfulfillment feeling wouldn't be here. I wanted to do research for a government lab upon graduation but because I graduated in the height of the recession that was a no go, so I opted for the post doc route to academia. I did my post doc of U of Michigan. This is where I learned quickly that the academia life is not for me! The stress, the politics, the eat, breathe, sleep writing grants and research was not what I wanted for my life. I believe in living life and having a family so no this is not conducive to my personal goals. There I was in a city that I hated, a post doc that I hated, and no real direction. For the first time in my life, I made a decision of myself. I wrote down what I wanted to do and came across my current career. I researched the requirements and ended up having to go back to school...bleh. Well I did it and here I am. But I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss the research academia world. I miss the lab and the conferences and the many many trips. I miss presenting my research and interacting with fellow Chemist. So what am I to do? At some point in my life, I would like to get back into research. To do research in my current field would be so clutch. So I guess I'll figure out how to make that happen as well. Secondly, It doesn't help either that I work the 3rd shift, which at first was kosher but now....Lord I'm getting too old for this lol. But again, I'm thankful to even have a job in this economy so I make the best of it all.

Relationships....
Well as I've written before I have a new love in my life and I couldn't be happier. It's the healing process of a divorce though...I don't know how people divorce so much. The emotional roller coaster it takes you on is so not worth it. If I could do it all over again, I would've let my ex go when God told me to. Even though I've moved on, the pain of it all still lingers. I'm having to reprogram myself from the dysfunction that was my marriage. It also sucks that we were only married for a year and 9 months and that I'm 29 and divorced. Divorce was never an option for me.  What I am thankful for is my growth because of the divorce and also this pretty awesome book that I'm writing. I hope to help others not make the same mistakes I made and to make sure that God is a part of every decision I make in every aspect of my life.

My take home message for the day....
Despite my feelings of being unfulfilled I have to remember that I can do things on my time but on God's timing. God may not come or do things when you want Him but He is definitely on time. I am a living witness and testimony to that. I also don't allow my feelings to keep me from pushing forward. I know that one day that one day this too shall pass and I'll be blogging about the blessings from my God. :-) On some things I have to just step out on faith putting all fears aside and allowing God to get the glory in my endeavors. Go after your dreams and goals and let NO ONE stop you. Help others to their dreams and goals and watch God show out in your life.  Remember that God will tell you no or not yet. Don't become angry but thank Him for His answer and praise Him in advance for what He's preparing your for and walk right into His will for your life.

Until tomorrow....Pray to be in God's will and that your dreams and goals are in lined with God's will for your life. Love you all and may God's peace and grace be upon you.

Doc J

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 24 Mi Familia

I'm going to talk about some folk who are near and dear to my heart. They have been my biggest cheerleaders throughout life. Without them there would be no me. They helped me to become great and helped mold the person you see today. My family! Lord knows I love them no matter how much they may get on my nerve lol. I have been blessed to meet the majority of grandparents and great grandparents. I guess you could say my family is considered to be "young." But they are/were wise beyond their years. I've listened to some friends stories about their parents and let me just say I am truly thankful and indebted to mine! They ate some the funniest people I know and when we all get together, it's always a knee slapping good time. So let me tell you about my family.....

Many know my father, Coach West. He's a silly old man and a pure genius. The man knows his chemistry and is great at it. I'm a daddy's girl to the fullest. When I was younger I thought that my dad was too strict on us. Now that I'm almost 30 and have seen some of the cruelties of this world, I now realize that he only loved us and wanted to protect us. I really appreciate him for that. My Dad would take someone out if they messed with his family. Richard don't play lol. My dad spoiled me rotten especially when I was sick. He can't cook worth a dime but he can make a mean fruit salad and order pizza like a pro lol. It's cool now to sit back and have deep conversations with my daddy. During my divorce he was my rock next to Jesus. I know deep down inside he wanted to do bodily harm to my ex but I was his #1 concern plus I think it helps that he has Jesus in his life lol. He has supported me in every facet of my life and I am forever grateful to have such a great dad.

As I've written before my mom passed away leaving my dad with 3 small children to raise alone. When I was I years old my dad remarried and boy were we happy lol. Cheryl is the best step mom anyone could ask for. She along with her family treated us like we were her own. I didn't have to endure any of the horror stories of step parenting. She is a very sweet person with a huge great and she can cook her butt off! *Praise Him* I thank her for checking our homework every night, attending every school function, taking us to church, hot combing our hair *she should get an award for that alone lol*, being a listening ear when we needed it, and the list goes on. I can only imagine that task she was faced with taking on 3 young children but she did an amazing job and I thank her!

I have 5 siblings. Yes...5! With the youngest being 10. One thing I admired about my parents was the love and affection they showed toward one another. It was because of them that I knew I wanted to get married one day. Any who, my siblings....these hams lol. I love my siblings although sometimes they irritate the stew out of me lol. We are all really close. We get together for Sunday dinner, have sibling lunches, etc. The three way calls are always hilarious. It's never a dull moment with us at all. I can tell you that I'm very proud of my siblings and love them to pieces. I'm proud to be their sister.

My grandparents are THE coolest grandparents ever! They are hip to the latest technology and will have you rolling with laughter. My grandfather is like my best friend hands down. He's about 6' 4" but will cry like a baby at the accomplishments of his grandchildren. As he say he's a big sack of tears lol. I used to love going to Chicago to visit my grandparents and our summer trips to Florida. My grandparents were also very supportive in all of our endeavors.

Lastly, my great grandmother Olla Mae aka Mah. This woman right here was so wise. She instilled in us to love one another no matter what. I'm quite sure this is why my siblings and I are so close. She also was big on us getting our education and bettering ourselves. She helped to raise us when my mom passed away. She had some conundrums for you too. I remember when she told someone they weren't worth a pot to piss in, I literally cried from laughter. I have so many great memories of her and as of late I have really missed her. I hope that she is proud of the woman that I've become.

I have some of the best aunts, uncles, and cousins that any girl could ask for. I could go on and on about how great my family is but that would take a novel and a Hollywood film. I love the stew out of them and truly appreciate them for all they have done and continue to do. To my nieces and nephew, tee tee is super proud of you guys and I love you all.

Take home message....
You can't choose which family you will be born into, but I thank God for mine. I am blessed to say that we really haven't had many bumpy roads when it came to our relationship. We tend to forgive quickly because we know that life is short. Family is so important on a world full of hate. I don't know where I'd be without my family. They are everything to me and I would do anything in my power for them. I just want you all to know that I love you and thank you for your love, support and prayers throughout my life. I pray that we continue to grow stronger and stronger as a family.

Until tomorrow....tell your family that you love them and appreciate them. Don't wait until their funeral to say something nice or to express your feelings to them. Give them their flowers while they are still living.

Doc J

Here are a few pics of a portion of my family. :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 25 Alpha Kappa Alpha

*singing* ALLLLL OF MY LIIIFFEEE AND MY DAAAYY I LOVE MY AKA!
Hey loves! I'm quite nostalgic when it comes to thinking of my sisterhood. Every since I was 4 years old, I knew I wanted to be a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha! I remember seeing the step shows and thinking I want to do that one day. Watching my aunt wear her letters with pride, grace and elegance made me want it even more. My desires were solidified when I walked upon the campus of Jackson State University. It was here that I saw the real work of Alpha Kappa Alpha. It was here that I saw all of the community service, the programs promoting excellence and high scholastic standards. These women were amazing. They not only juggled the cruelty of school work but spearheaded community service, leaders in student government, lead drum major, highest GPA on campus, etc. Soooo on February 8, 2004 I became a member of the greatest sorority ever and began to dive into the work of AKA. But most importantly, I've developed great friendships and gained great sisters over the last almost 9 years. *whew I'm getting old in the sorority*


Fast Forward to 2011-2012.....
From January 2011 to February 2012, I went through many changes. It was a very stressful time in my life but I thank God for the many lessons that I learned during that time. When I say my sisters stepped up for me during my time of need....LORD! From texts, emails, phone calls, gifts, visits, just the outpouring of love from Sisters I've never even met. And my goon Sorors...lol...I love you guys to death. They were ready to take some folk out if I needed it lol. Just kidding but it was one of my goon Sorors that gave me the idea for the pennies *a story that I will share if the demand for it is great enough lol* I remember texting a line sister saying that I needed to get out because my divorce was being finalized that week and she banded the crew together that moment which really meant a lot to me. We did what we loved to do most....break bread together! Lol! We laughed, joked, and I was really able to just release some pint up emotions. It was also my Sorors that encouraged me to keep pushing and keep fighting. When I say I love my AKA...I really love my AKA!

My take home message for the day.....
Always be grateful for the people place in your life. We are all here to help one other in some shape or form. Be willing to accept help from others as to hinder their blessing as well as yours. I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to be a part of such a great and illustrious sisterhood. These are some pretty awesome women and I'm glad to be called your sister! I want to thank all of those who prayed for me, called me, sent me gifts, and the list could go on forever. I want you all to know that I truly appreciate you. I know that God placed you all in my life and I am forever indebted to you all. If you all never need me, I am always here. We help each other for we know there's no other like our sisterhood, Alpha Kappa Alpha! Skee Wee Sorors!!!!


Until tomorrow....I love you!

Doc J

Monday, December 17, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 26 I Heart Music

Hey gang! Today I will speak on my love/hate relationship with music. I heart music! I write this as I have the Motown Christmas album blasting. I love Christmas music! Music has been a part of me since I can remember. Like I posted yesterday, my very first album was Thriller. I played that tape like no end. Other artists that I love are Janet Jackson, T. I., Whitney Houston, Luther Vandross, Stevie Wonder, Earth, Wind & Fire, Temptations, Teddy Pendagrass, Nickleback, Adele, India Arie, Marvin Gaye and that's just to name a few. I like good music. I started singing in choirs in the 3rd grade and started playing the violin in the 5th. Music moves the soul. Music can heal, soothe, inspire and empower. I love all genres of music from R&B to Rock to Rap to Pop. But I must say good music is hard to come by these days. After the late 90s, music started to take a nose dive and I blame Lil John and the Eastside boys. -_- I really want you to ponder on that statement for a moment and see don't you agree. They opened the door for all kinds of foolery and we just sat back, threw our bows and watched. I look to when music was good. It wasn't based on your waistline or your facial features but whether you could sang or not. Many artists today can't sing even with auto tune behind their voice. Such a sad sad day. The market is flooded with talentless artists and the artists with talent gets pushed under the rug. No love shown whatsoever. Rap has gone from empowering and educational to money, cars, clothes and hoes. R&B is nonexistent. *And NO Trey Songz is not R&B, shivers* Every pop song sounds the same. Gospel music is a joke now which is really sad. And music is so sexual explicit now you #minuswhale just go ahead and make the porn movie that goes along with it. I'm not saying that music wasn't sexual in the past but it was very subtle. It brought on a feeling of love and not bang bang bang bang bang. *in my pops voice* You wanna know why music is so horrible now....come a little closer so I can whisper it to you......because...we....don't ...demand....BETTER! Yep I said it! We as consumers keep buying the foolery that is released and treat it like a child with a subtle...well that's the best he/she could do bless he/she little heart. NO! I can't tell you the last time I bought an album because I refuse to buy garbage. I purchased Cee Lo Green's Magical Moment because it was good quality music. I'm tired of buying albums where the only good songs are the ones played on the radio or out of 20 songs 3 are decent. I am NOT about that Life! Plus if you not busting it wide open for a goon then it's not going to sell. It's horrible. I too at times become a victim of pelvic thrusting to the ratchet music with a great beat. AND THEN you listen to the lyrics and you are like WHOA! We gosta (yes GOSTA) do betta!

Do we really know the power of music? I mean really KNOW what music can do? There have been many artists who have stated that music had a demonic hold on them. It made them do things that they had no control over. Let's take a look at this. Have you ever listened to a song and say "Ugh I hate this song" but subconsciously you learn all the words to it and begin tapping to it like it's the best thing since sliced bread? Or have you listened to your favorite song and ever had an overwhelming feeling come over you and the beat made you do things you never thought you would ever do? As musicians we have to be really careful of the things we put out there. Some are not as strong to overcome the powers of it. We have to remember that Satan was the head musician when he was in Heaven so when he was kicked out what do you think he took with him? Yep, yep and yep. I'm not saying all music is bad, but it is time for a major overhaul. Let's go back to the days when music was good. When it meant something and not just a good beat with foolery as lyrics. I think some of my brain cells die after listening to some of the music that is out today. #lettucepray

My take home message for the day....
Lauryn Hill said it best..."music is suppose to inspire, then how come we ain't getting no higher." I really feel sorry for this generation because they will never know what real music is. All they have is Soulja Boy and that is a tragedy....TRAGEDY! There will be no greats in this generation. Name one artist that can be classified as a great 10 years from now. I'll wait..... I'll just hold on to the sweet memories of good music. Slow dancing to the sweet melodies of Luther, Electric sliding, doing the running man to MC Hammer, moonwalking and the ever so popular pelvic thrusts. *stares out window in remembrance*   So today pop in that favorite old school jam. Enjoy the melodies of times before because it looks like we will never have those luxuries again. *single tear* RIP Good Music. At least your legacy lives on through digital remastery. Until tomorrow loves....


Doc B


Sunday, December 16, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 26 Michael Jackson

Is it me or does it seem like this countdown is going pretty fast?!? Wellllll today I am going to discuss my most favoritist (I have a PhD so I can make up my own words and you will deal lol) artist of ALL time. The late great Michael Joseph Jackson!!! *pelvic thrusts, moonwalks, spins and lands on toes* Thriller was the very first album (which was a cassette tape) that I received as a child even though I was only like 2. I had the making of Thriller on VHS. Yes DVD's were not around then don't judge -_- lol. I remember when MTV and VH1 used to actually played videos rather than the plethora amount of mind numbing reality shows that flood the TV gates now. I remember when Michael had a new album release or video release the world stopped and watched and went crazy because of the pure genius of it all. My very first CD was the HIStory album which I have to this day in great working condition. I have every album that he has ever released. I thought he was a creative genius whose music made you get up and dance or shed some type of awareness. Even going back to the Jackson 5/Jacksons days, you could tell that this young man was going to be someone special. Although Thriller became the greatest selling album of all time I tend to disagree on it being his greatest album. Like most solo artist the first album is the beast but tends to get overlooked. In my opinion, Off the Wall was his greatest work. The jazz chords along with the Michael Jackson dance feel....*chills up my spine* It was a great work. The match between he and Quincy Jones (I'm a huge Quincy fan as well) was a match made in heaven. They made magic together. His music, clothes and dance is what inspired many artists today and it is because of him that many doors were opened for African American musicians/artists. He made it cool to were flood pants, white socks, penny loafers with a white glove. The iconic jacktes (Thriller, Beat It, Bad), the moonwalk, the suits with the stripe on the arm...(and Lord did he make those suits look delicious *swoon*) is all what made Michael an icon. His concerts were exhilarating, energetic, and entertaining. People would pass out just from being in the same stadium as he. He was the only man to make grown men cry. Him turning his head just a few inches made people scream and cry. Only Michael Jackson could do this. There is not another artist that had this type of hold on people. And I loved it. I never got the chance to see him live but I know I would've been that fan crying, passing out (with my friends waking me up reminding me how much money we paid for the tickets), throwing panties, the works lol. I thought we has the cutest thing ever. I would attempt to imitate every dance move. I nearly know the dance routines to every video even though I'm not much of a good dancer. Lord knows I try though lol. The man was a genius when it came to his craft. Not only was he an artist but a humanitarian as well. He not only donated to many charities but he visited the sick, helped out with relief efforts, and would open his home to sick children across the country. There will never be another Michael Jackson.



The other side of Michael Jackson.....
One has to wonder what Michael would have been like if the Pepsi commercial incident hadn't occurred. This is when the prescription drug addiction began. I can only imagine the pain he endured due to the accident. Also the fame factor. He became a household name by the age of 5. He couldn't walk the streets or he would be pummeled with eager and often inconsiderate fans. When Michael came to town the whole city shut down. People would flood the streets just to get a glimpse of him. This made him larger than life and sadly even more revered than God. *yikes*  Sad to say but we made this man to be bigger than God on many occasions. And when his life became a downward spiral, many turned their backs on him or enabled him. And even if you said no, he would find someone else who would do it for him. This ultimately led to his untimely death. His death robbed us fans of one the greatest comeback tours ever to be conceived by any artist. *waves fist at Conrad Murray* Although based on his health and what I saw from "This Is It" I didn't think he would last the whole tour but to see it once....*faints* No matter our talents or how great we are, we all have our demons. It is us praying and entrusting God with these demons that help us to persevere. And the plastic surgeries....Michael was one sexy specimen. I don't understand for the life of me why he went through so many surgeries. I guess no matter how successful or popular you are if you don't have self esteem or self love, the rest doesn't matter. I think I just said something there people.

My take home message for the day.....
Michael was a great artist, father, humanitarian. His music brought people together of all races. His heart was bigger than any I've ever seen. Despite these good qualities, it was the world's fascination with him, that made him bigger than God, alienated him and ultimately led to his death. Fortune and fame often come with a great price. It is OK to like your favorite artist but to place that person above God or make that person your God is detrimental and destructive. We really have to be careful because it is really easy to do so. We have to also pay attention to our shortcomings, pray over them and work hard to keep them from overtaking you. Finally, don't let the public's opinion of you define who you are. Be confident in your skin, love yourself, take pride in who are. People are going to always say what they want to say but it's your opinion of self that really matters. And if you have low self esteem, fix that. Make a list of things you love about your self and focus on that. Over a period of time that list will grow. Be the best you, that you can be. So to Michael Jackson, we love you. We miss you and your music. Music really sucks without you. (this will be my topic tomorrow sigh)  Thank you for all the doors you opened and the legacy that you left behind in the world of music.


Until tomorrow.....moonwalk, shamone, pelvic thrust and HeeHee the day away! (after church that is lol) Love you all!


Doc J



Here are some of my fav MJ tunes! Enjoy!!!














Saturday, December 15, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 27 Heavy Heart

Hey gang! My heart being heavy is two fold on today.....

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to all those who lost loved ones in the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary school. I can't even imagine or even grasp the emotions, hurt, and pain that these families are enduring right now. This situation sickens me all the way around. How could you hurt innocent little children? This disturbed me to the core. To imagine those babies fearing for their lives is just...ugh. My main issue with all of this is why did the gun man have to go to the elementary school. And if you're going to take your own life anyway, why not just do that from the beginning? Why end other's lives because you're miserable? I'm not an advocate of suicide but if you're going to do it just kill yourself and move on. Sounds a bit harsh but was it really worth killing 27 other innocent people who did absolutely nothing to you. And how could you shoot your own mother? I'm.....speechless. It's not safe to go anywhere nowadays. School is suppose to be a safe haven for children. One has to wonder how could this have been prevented and with dealing with mental illness that is easier said than done. I think it's time for America to incorporate better mental health programs and it's really time for us to start paying attention to the signs. It is very apparent to me that this was a well orchestrated plan. The main problem is that we have taken God out of so many of our daily activities (school, work, etc) that we are leaving the door wide open for Satan to not to have to sneak in but to just walk right in with open arms. Maybe God is trying to get our attention on some things. Maybe it's time we stopped focusing on prosperity and focus on helping others. Not to focus on self but loving others. Not to focus on climbing to the top but lending a helping hand. I don't know the answers but it's just a thought. Needless to say my deepest condolences goes out to the family in CT. I pray God's strength upon you and that you may begin to heal during this horrible tragedy. It is really time to come together as a nation to end this senseless violence.


My heart is also heavy today because today marks one year that the Lord saw fit to take our dear sweet and witty Cryssy. Although I had never met Cryssy in person (we me through Twitter) she really touched my life. We often joked and had very engaging conversations. She was one of THE funniest people I knew and she would have you in tears laughing despite the pain she was enduring. She had a huge heart and loved her babies to death. She passed away due to complications of sickle cell. Sickle cell anemia is a blood disorder that causes the red blood cells to "sickle" or form a crescent shape in times of low oxygen, stress, etc. It causes extreme pain and can lead to organ and vessel damage and/or failure. There is currently no cure for sickle cell and is only treated with pain therapy and blood transfusions. I miss her. There are times that I want to tweet her or DM her. I often look at her twitter page and see the last check in she made to the ER. Times like these you have to cherish the memories. I see updated pics of her babies and they are growing so fast. I can't believe that's it's already been a year. I only hope that when the good Lord calls me home that I leave such a legacy as Cryssy. It's because of her that I was introduced to so really cool people that have not only just been my twitter followers but have become like my family. Family that supported me throughout my divorce, who prayed for me, sent gifts, called, encouraged, visited, etc. I don't know what I would've have done during that time without them. I thank Cryssy for unknowingly placing these people in my life. She also unknowingly helped me to open up and not to be as shy when meeting new people. Cryssy, we miss you so much! Thank you for touching our lives and for being you! Until we meet again....

My take home message for the day....
I don't fully understand why God is allowing such tragedy to occur in the world today but I do know that everything works for the good. I think sometimes we forget that not only is God a loving God but is a jealous God as well. He's slow to wrath but He will do it to get His people in line. Are we listening? Or are we just going to continue to ignore the signs. Hug those you love. Life is short and many are taking it for granted. Call that relative you haven't talked to in years over that $20 he/she owes. Kiss your children and tell them how much you love them, how proud of them you are and what they mean to you. Show love and kindness not only to love ones but to those who may hate you. Pray for them. Allow God's light to shine in your life so that He may be lifted up and you may draw all men unto Him. Cherish the memories of those who have passed on begin to build memories with those who are still around.

Until tomorrow.....love your family, love your neighbor and most importantly love yourself.


Doc J

Friday, December 14, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 28 I Wonder...

Hey everyone!  I'm still coming down from my high of last nights episode of scandal and the fact that I have to wait until January 10th to find out what the what is going on! Darn you Shondra Rhimes! *waves fist whilst wall sliding* Any way *inserting huge eye roll while inserting large smackage of lips* On a more serious note.....Those who are close to me and who follow me know that my mom passed away when I was 4 after giving birth to my brother. Our birthdays are a day apart. She would've been 51. I often questioned why God would take our mom at such a young age. I also have many questions about her but I'll first begin with my memories of her. I remember her homemade ice cream. Man that was some delicious ice cream. I remember her sewing room. I remember one time the toilet flooding in the sewing room. I remember her cooking Chinese food. I remember her scent and how she would rock me to sleep. I remember I would wake up in the middle of the night and get in the bed with my parents but would always wake up the next morning in my bed lol. I remember trying to keep us out of the rise bushes and me out of trees lol. Why was I climbing trees you ask. To catch birds for my cat duh lol. I remember our carport always smelling horrible from the food out cat would catch and devour in the carport. I also remember the day she died. It was July 1, 1987. I was helping her get things together for the birth of my brother. She birthed all of us at home and had a midwife. I remember being excited about being a big sister again. She delivered a 9 lb baby boy. I came into the room and I saw my mom and my new brother. I was then rushed out of the room. My last visual memory of my mom was through a peep hole in the door. She was pale and didn't look well. I looked around the room and saw my dad and other relatives crying. I knew something was wrong. The ambulance arrived and I was later told that she had died on the way to the hospital. I cried for years. I still cry sometimes, especially during holidays or special occasions. I am happy that I do have some memories of her.

I wonder how she felt when she found out she was pregnant with me. How did she find out? How did she break the news to my dad? What was delivery like? I do know that I was a stubborn one when it came time for me to come. How did she prepare for my arrival? Did she want to choke my dad during labor lol? As you can see I have questions lol. I do know this one thing, i have never heard not one bad thing about my mom. She was loved by many and is missed by many even after 25 years. I wonder was she just as goofy as I am. I've heard that I have many of her mannerisms and her temperament. I am honored when people look at me they see her. Even after 25 years, it's hard for some to see me without tearing up which to me means that my mom meant a lit to them. I remember a few years ago I was walking to the church to hear my dad preach and this guy stopped and looked at me and he called me Nephthy, which was my mom's nickname. I smiled and told him I was her daughter. He was like wow you look exactly like your mom. I'm glad because my mom was hot!!! Lol.

I can't wait to see my mom again in heaven. I have so many questions I want to ask her but most importantly I just want to be in her arms again. To tell her all about my joys and pains of life. To tell her that she blessed us with her hips and cursed us with her lazy eye especially your grandson lol. My take home message for the day is to honor your mother while she is living. If I could have just 1 day with my mom i would definitely take it. There is no love like a mother's love and I hope I will be a great woman and mother like my mom. So to you mommy, I love you and miss you more than words can express. I know that you're smiling down on me and hope that you are proud of the woman that I'm becoming.

Until tomorrow.... do something nice for your mother she deserves it!

Love,

Doc J

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 29 Doc J- the Writer???

Hey Gang! 29 Days Left! Woot Woot! 25 Days Until Jamaica! *moonwalks, spins, lands on toes and pelvic thrusts and body rolls* Soooo...my ramblings for today. Contrary to many of your beliefs I absolutely hate writing lol. I don't consider myself to be a writer at all. If you knew how long it took me to write these blog posts you would think I rode the short bus lol. I guess that's one of the reasons I've taken forever in writing my book. Well...in all honesty, the fear factor sets in as well. I don't see myself as some literary genius or remotely have the ability to paint a picture with my words. I just speak from my heart and keep going. There is also the fear of will people buy it and like it or will the slew of tomatoes be thrown in shame. A few things I'm learning from this experience is that writing is definitely a testament of faith. I tip my hat to those who are great at this craft called writing. I have never really been all that great with words but give me a science problem I got you all day boo boo lol. One thing I decided on in 2012 was that I was going to step out of my comfort zone. I was going to do things that I would normally be afraid to do. The number one thing on my list was writing. And believe me, I have been running away from this beast. But when God tells you to do something you better do it or He'll let it burn like fire in your soul. It will cloud your mind like the plague if you don't do it lol. This running away reminds me of Jonah. Jonah ran away from the will of God and he ended up getting swallowed by a great fish, in my case the sleepless nights from procrastination. The one great thing about God is that when He wants YOU to do something He's going to make YOU do it. He will protect you, keep you and equip you to do the task as well. Sometimes when I write and I read back over I know that it's not me writing but the Holy Spirit placing the words on my heart to type.

I remember in school, when writing papers, my teachers would always write great work but explain more or and more "meat and potatoes" I am a if I can get in one sentence to answer your essay that would be clutch type of gal. I remember despising writing in school. The on the spot essays are really what irritated me. I need time to think and 30 minutes isn't enough lol. Even when it comes to arguments I have never really been quick on my toes. I'm always the one 45 minutes later saying "dang it why didn't I say this or that" lol. Any who, I do remember my high school term paper. I wrote about Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, which I wrote the night before it was due but that's a later blog post. Nevertheless, I got an A on the paper and my teacher was really impressed with my writing. Blah. Lol. Maybe, I beat myself up too much. If it's a passion and it's a part of God's plan, I should not allow this fear to over power God's plan. My prayer is to reach those in need, who may need encouragement or who may be lost in this sinful world. It is my hope and desire that my words not only inspire you but encourage you and do a little entertaining as well. 30 will prayerfully bring me into authorship and maybe into Oprah's book club *fist pump*

The take home message for today....
Where ever God wants you to go....GO! Whatever God wants you to do...DO! You can do it voluntarily or involuntarily and with God you don't want to do it involuntarily! TRUST ME! If God places it on your heart, let go of all fears and reservations and go for it. He wouldn't bring you to it to leave you. He will fully equip to tackle the tasks He's laid before you. Walk in faith and take on the challenge. The harvest that you will reap from obedience will more than you can handle. Taste and see that the Lord is good. All things work together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. You never know who's life you may touch and/or even save. Moses wasn't a great speaker but he lead God's people to the promise land. I'm no writer but with God's help and guidance...we'll see where this thing goes. I'm really excited about what 30 has to offer.

Until tomorrow....be a blessing to someone who may not be able to return the favor.

Love,

Doc J

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Countdown to 30: Day 30 Bitten by the Love Bug

Hey guys! So today I have been bitten by the bug of love. In previous post, I've talked about my fears of dating and loving again. My friends and siblings had been on me about not dating or at least getting out and getting a free meal here and there. I told them I wasn't ready and really didn't trust menfolk all to much. Six months ago, my sister was purchasing a car. She asked for my help so I had to go up to the dealership to give her the money. I was fighting so hard not to have to go up there because I was sick. How sick was I you ask? Great question! I had sinusitis, laryngitis and fluid draining into my lungs so yeah I was pretty sick and couldn't talk at all. I looked a hot mess going into the dealership but I didn't care. In and out was all I was thinking. Soooo...I walked in and I see my sister. She introduces me to her salesman. I see this tall, dark skinned, bow legged man. He was really cute but like I said, I was sick and I could care less about a man. I gave him the money and was on my way to the couch to rest. My sister calls me that night and asked me what I thought of Jeffery. Who is Jeffery and why are you not here with my orange juice?  is all I could ask. She goes on about the salesman and how she thinks I should go out with him. No thank you ma'am! The next day....she spills his resume'. Ok how old is he? No ma'am! I don't do younger men. These phone calls continued for 3 weeks. 3 LOOOONNNGGG weeks. Then she calls my brother and he calls me fussing that I need to go out with this dude. It was just a date not a marriage. Sigh...my family...lol. So I gave the ok to give "Jeffery" my number with the lowest of expectations ever. We went on a date which I thought went well but I was very reserved and nervous as all get out. I hadn't dated in over 5 years. He was very intelligent and well spoken but again I had my reservations. I placed him in the friend zone and we text on occasions. One day I decided to give him a REAL chance so I asked him out to breakfast. We had a blast. We had gut busting laughter and realized that we had many things in common. This was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Fast forward to six months later.....
I love this man so much. He has been a pivotal part of my healing process and my growth emotionally and spiritually. I feel like a high school teenager every single day that I'm with him. I don't think I've ever smiled this hard ever in my life. The happiness I feel when I'm with him leaves me speechless. He treats me like a queen, listens to me, offers assistance in every aspect of my life and has helped to motivate me to go after my dreams. He surprises me with flowers,he cooks *waves church fan cause I love to eat*,  we exercise together, and he asks me daily what can he do to make my life less stressful. *swoon* He has introduced me to a totally different way of life and I have introduced him to the world of traveling and vacationing (those who know me know I LOVE to travel :) ) He's very in tuned to my needs, my heart. He knows when I'm hurting and holds me when I am. He wipes away my tears and shares in my joys, pains, and sorrows. Did I say that I LOVE this man lol. I thank God daily for him and I look forward to a future with him. I never thought I would be able to love again but he makes it so easy. I remember tweeting about 8 months ago that I couldn't wait for God to bless me with a tall, dark skinned, baritone man. Not only did God show up but showed out when he sent this sexy man my way lol. And to think I almost missed out on my blessing because of a small age difference and my stubbornness. If going through all the foolishness from my past is what I had to go through to get to boo love, I'm very thankful and he was so worth it. I appreciate him more than I think he'll ever know.

So what's my take home message from all of this you ask? God is faithful to those who are faithful to him. If you seek Him first and His righteousness He will bless you with the desires of your heart. My biggest desire has been to have a family and to share my life with someone that not only loves me but loves the Lord. This man adores me. The pride he shows when I'm on his arm makes me blush daily. I know my worth and am blessed that I have a man that knows my worth. I'm thankful for not only his love, but God's love and for now truly loving myself. And I'm happy to be stepping into 30 with him by my side. So to Jeffery, my boo stank, thank you so much for all that you do, those things small and large. I love you very much and I hope that I make you as happy as you make me. I look forward to our future together and one day becoming your wife and having your mulatto babies lol. Thank you for being you, being supportive, and a major part of my healing. I love you so much! It feels so great to be in LOVE!


Until tomorrow loves!

Doc J









Our Song: *blushes*