I'm BAAACCCKKK...I Have A Confession...

Hey Gang!

Did you miss me?!? How have you guys been. I know, I know, it's been 4 years since my last blog post. Don't beat me up. I'll get more into why it's been so long later in the post, but let me catch you guys up on my life. Hubby and I will be celebrating 5 years of marriage in September. Since my last post, I've had 2 beautiful sons, Jeffery (JP3) and Jacob. JP3 is now 3 and Jacob is 1 and they are our heartbeats and headaches all at the same time. There is nothing that can prepare you for motherhood but I thank God for my 2 little blessings.

I have many journeys that I am embarking on in this season of my life and it is my plan to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with you all in hopes that it will inspire you to greatness and to be able to hold one another accountable to reaching our goals. It's one thing to dream but it's a totally different monster to actually do. Doing is the hard part! It all began when I read "the life changing magic of tidying up" by Marie Kondo. As I began to declutter our home, I quickly began to realize that my whole life needed work. This led to the journey of debt freedom and financial independence. I have been listening to some great podcasts that have inspired me as well as my husband to get our finances in order. And finally, I need to get me together...emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It hit me that my whole life was/is filled with clutter and I was neglecting self in the process.

So about why I haven't written in 4 years... part lazy, part exhaustion, mostly a cluttered life, and a whole lot of fear. During my first marriage, it placed on my heart to write a book. At that time, I began writing about my journey of being a stepmother. A few months after that, I was going through a divorce and life took a turn. During that time, I was talking to my minister and out of the blue, he says that my marriage is what my book is suppose to be about. I looked at him with much confusion because I never told anyone that I was writing a book. He helped me during that time to find my voice and I began writing. It was also during that time I started blogging to help keep me on task with writing. I'm old fashion, so I was writing in a journal and then I began typing the things I had written. As I started reading what I had written, a huge cloud of doubt, fear, embarrassment, etc. came over me and I brushed it to the side. So for 4 years, I've made no progress. For 4 years, I've had friends ask me about how the writing was going and with embarrassment, I would say nonexistent.

A few days ago I was listening to the His and Her Money Show Podcast (click to take a listen) and they were talking about past hurts and how those hurts can keep you paralyzed unknowingly. We often have just swept those hurts under the file folders of I'm OK, I've moved on, I've forgiven him/her, etc. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I became angry. I haven't been able to write the book because many of those past events were painful and for the past 6 years, I've been just filing those hurts away in the file folders. I discussed the podcast episode with my husband and he applauded my discovery. I fussed a little at him about not telling me that he saw me filing these hurts away but he felt that I had to come to the realization by myself and you  know what...he was right. *I Love he!* He then said the most profound thing me: I told him that I needed to write this book to help others and he looked and said that I needed to write the book for me. *Again I love he* He told me to remove all the expectations behind writing and just write and that if I want to publish, publish. I truly love how supportive he is and when the man is right, the man is right. So to answer your question, I am writing and it's been very therapeutic.

So in my future posts, I will share my ups, my downs, the good, the bad, the down right ugly. I will be sharing my experiences with a C- section, VBAC, breastfeeding, and much more. If you would like to join me in any of my journeys, feel free to comment below and we'll walk through this thing called life together. Thank you all for your love and support and I look forward to sharing with you!

Love,

Doc J

Countdown to 30: Day 24 Mi Familia

I'm going to talk about some folk who are near and dear to my heart. They have been my biggest cheerleaders throughout life. Without them there would be no me. They helped me to become great and helped mold the person you see today. My family! Lord knows I love them no matter how much they may get on my nerve lol. I have been blessed to meet the majority of grandparents and great grandparents. I guess you could say my family is considered to be "young." But they are/were wise beyond their years. I've listened to some friends stories about their parents and let me just say I am truly thankful and indebted to mine! They ate some the funniest people I know and when we all get together, it's always a knee slapping good time. So let me tell you about my family.....

Many know my father, Coach West. He's a silly old man and a pure genius. The man knows his chemistry and is great at it. I'm a daddy's girl to the fullest. When I was younger I thought that my dad was too strict on us. Now that I'm almost 30 and have seen some of the cruelties of this world, I now realize that he only loved us and wanted to protect us. I really appreciate him for that. My Dad would take someone out if they messed with his family. Richard don't play lol. My dad spoiled me rotten especially when I was sick. He can't cook worth a dime but he can make a mean fruit salad and order pizza like a pro lol. It's cool now to sit back and have deep conversations with my daddy. During my divorce he was my rock next to Jesus. I know deep down inside he wanted to do bodily harm to my ex but I was his #1 concern plus I think it helps that he has Jesus in his life lol. He has supported me in every facet of my life and I am forever grateful to have such a great dad.

As I've written before my mom passed away leaving my dad with 3 small children to raise alone. When I was I years old my dad remarried and boy were we happy lol. Cheryl is the best step mom anyone could ask for. She along with her family treated us like we were her own. I didn't have to endure any of the horror stories of step parenting. She is a very sweet person with a huge great and she can cook her butt off! *Praise Him* I thank her for checking our homework every night, attending every school function, taking us to church, hot combing our hair *she should get an award for that alone lol*, being a listening ear when we needed it, and the list goes on. I can only imagine that task she was faced with taking on 3 young children but she did an amazing job and I thank her!

I have 5 siblings. Yes...5! With the youngest being 10. One thing I admired about my parents was the love and affection they showed toward one another. It was because of them that I knew I wanted to get married one day. Any who, my siblings....these hams lol. I love my siblings although sometimes they irritate the stew out of me lol. We are all really close. We get together for Sunday dinner, have sibling lunches, etc. The three way calls are always hilarious. It's never a dull moment with us at all. I can tell you that I'm very proud of my siblings and love them to pieces. I'm proud to be their sister.

My grandparents are THE coolest grandparents ever! They are hip to the latest technology and will have you rolling with laughter. My grandfather is like my best friend hands down. He's about 6' 4" but will cry like a baby at the accomplishments of his grandchildren. As he say he's a big sack of tears lol. I used to love going to Chicago to visit my grandparents and our summer trips to Florida. My grandparents were also very supportive in all of our endeavors.

Lastly, my great grandmother Olla Mae aka Mah. This woman right here was so wise. She instilled in us to love one another no matter what. I'm quite sure this is why my siblings and I are so close. She also was big on us getting our education and bettering ourselves. She helped to raise us when my mom passed away. She had some conundrums for you too. I remember when she told someone they weren't worth a pot to piss in, I literally cried from laughter. I have so many great memories of her and as of late I have really missed her. I hope that she is proud of the woman that I've become.

I have some of the best aunts, uncles, and cousins that any girl could ask for. I could go on and on about how great my family is but that would take a novel and a Hollywood film. I love the stew out of them and truly appreciate them for all they have done and continue to do. To my nieces and nephew, tee tee is super proud of you guys and I love you all.

Take home message....
You can't choose which family you will be born into, but I thank God for mine. I am blessed to say that we really haven't had many bumpy roads when it came to our relationship. We tend to forgive quickly because we know that life is short. Family is so important on a world full of hate. I don't know where I'd be without my family. They are everything to me and I would do anything in my power for them. I just want you all to know that I love you and thank you for your love, support and prayers throughout my life. I pray that we continue to grow stronger and stronger as a family.

Until tomorrow....tell your family that you love them and appreciate them. Don't wait until their funeral to say something nice or to express your feelings to them. Give them their flowers while they are still living.

Doc J

Here are a few pics of a portion of my family. :)